We should hear from black fathers! There’s definitely parenting challenges black fathers commonly face that are under-discussed. We have two black fathers on the show to discuss being a black father, stereotypes, co-parenting, child support and more. Listen as they share experiences and give a father’s perspective about how the conditions of our community play a role in effective “dadding”. Thank you Tim, father of two girls 1 and 5 and DJ father of one two month old baby girl.
We don’t have that outlet to where we can inspire another black father or get inspiration from another black father
- Exaggerated black father stereotypes. There’s wonderful dads out there but that’s not the narrative in our community. Typically, the completely non-involved “deadbeat” stereotype is attached to black men. Lack of positive representation plays a role in this but we are responsible for what we promote on social media. (check out episode #Social Media)
- Dad’s Activeness. Some dads are more “active” others due to reasons beyond their control such as them needing to work a lot to be able to provide for their family. Some fathers need to work long hours and 2+ jobs to keep the house working efficiently. This does have an impact on our community . Another reason why black wealth and education matters!
- Support system for fathers. Black mothers can easily get receive the support from other black mothers. Black dads, unfortunately don’t have that sames sense of “black fatherhood community”. In DJ’s example of this, when dads fathers seek parenting advice, assistance, opinions etc. the responses are usually from women. Mothers are in sense teaching fathers how to father. “We don’t have that outlet to where we can inspire another black father or get inspiration from another black father”
- Systematic “traps”. Incarceration for petty non-violent offenses, unnecessary child support obligations, not being able to find decent employment, etc. It’s difficult to be an well-involved in a child’s life when basic necessities are tough to obtain. On top of this, it’s relatively easier for women to receive government benefits than men. Father’s needs aren’t usually seen as an urgent matter.
- Child Support & Co-parenting. A lot of times, co-parenting is an overlooked option and child support is the first action taken by newly single mom’s . Each child support related situation is unique so we won’t say that child support itself is/is not an issue. However, not even allowing the father the chance to co-parent or not attempting to find any sort of compromise is an issue. Co-parenting is not something that’s taught or encouraged enough in our community.
- Sexual Responsibly. This goes for men and women. You don’t have to have sex with every thing. We won’t stop your shine if you do, but pleeeasee be safe and responsible.
It is extremely important that we uplift our children, teach them they are beautiful, are remember that it takes a village. Be supportive of black parents to create the best possible future for our community.
Things We Mentioned:
The doll test Tim was mentioned:
Marriage stats from Black Demographics.
Employment stats by Black Demographics
This is how black dads are stereotyped:
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